I spent a happy new year's eve at a party, for the first time in several years. At this particular party, thrown by a friend of mine who used to run a Cabaret night where I used to play, I was made to play a couple of tunes on the guitar, which was fun, and then spent most of the evening flirting extremely assiduously with $Very_Cute_Sax_Playing_Girl, or VCSPG, which is shorter.

At the end of the night, VCSPG mysteriously and abruptly literally ran away from me, as in off down the street, as always happens on nights when we get drunk together and flirt, which also always happens on the rare occasions we meet, this all on the basis that she has two children, lives with the father of the most recent child, and is quite happy with him. He wasn't at the party, obviously.

This has happened before. It pretty much always happens. I never get the chance to tell her that she doesn't need to run away from me, because I like her so much I wouldn't want to do anything fuck her life up, and that I understand that when she is flirting with me, she is only playing, because that is her nature - I only respond because I can't help it. Then again, so help me god, this woman could flirt with a lump of rock and it would respond. But I understand why she runs away.

No I fucking don't. But it's for the best.

Happy new year, anyway.